Monday, October 20, 2008

Emotional Exorcism

*Preface*
I am tired so this post may get a little non-sensical and/or whiny. Please to be moving on if you do not approve of such posts.

Tonight was weird. I feel used. Let's back this train up though and start at the beginning. Recently I have been getting strange vibes from alot of women, some that I am friends with, some that I don't know from Eve. The basic jist of it is this: Women have been noticing me lately. Not in the "ooooo I need to jump this guys bones" way, more of a "I am going to go up to him and tell him exactly what I think of him" way. Not that it has been bad. Over the last month I have been told by no fewer than 4 complete strangers that I have a beautiful face, or very handsome features or something alone those lines. I have been pretty obviously persued by at least one girl, which might be nice if I don't find a way to fuck it up. Tonight though I was asked to come over to a friends house for the evening. I did. It was fine. Lots of flirting. Some cuddling. (Told once again that I am attractive.) But then the weird happened. This friend proceeds to then uses my being there as a passive-aggressive weapon to my other friend via texts. It also becomes very obvious to me that she likes him but isn't getting the attention she wants from him and is using me to make him feel jealous... or at least trying to. All of this makes me feel very VERY uncomfortable. Now she also asked me to hang out with her for halloween, which I was considering, but now I realize that it was just her way of trying to have me so he can't have me. To which I say FUCK THIS and am removing myself from the situation entirely. I choose no sides. I am Switzerland.

All that being said. I am feeling very lonely right now since I am nothing more then a tool. I think I miss being loved and loving someone in return. (Though I do have lots of friendly-love! Thank god for that!)

2 comments:

a c said...

I'm sorry I make you uncomfortable with my aggressive advances. I'm sorry I used you to make Leonardo DiCaprio jealous. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I will back off.

*safe hugs*

Dunnjamin said...

Oh you know that I would never turn down aggressive advances from you!