Financial Noose Tightening

It's coming down to it again. I looked in my account and it is pretty bleak. So I am hit with a cold fact. I need money. The problem is that I don't know what to do. Things are picking up acting wise. I have three gigs in front of me and one paycheck in the mail. The work isn't paying that well and it is no where near steady. That and I am having a very difficult time finding a part time job. I did sign up with an extra firm and if they can supply me with steady work then the problem is solved. All I know is that I have enough money right now to pay for rent for next month, after that I don't know. I am considering dipping into the IRA one more time, but that will make the taxes at the end of the year that much worse.

So many things to think about. Wish there was a dream job out there that would pay me what I need and allow me to do my passion at the same time.

What More?

That's a question I have been asking myself alot in the last few days. What more can I do?

What more can I do to further my career?
What more can I do to further my improv?
What more can I do to further my life?

The answer to the first is classes, showcases, agents that actually get me auditions. I was just offered a good opportunity to audition for a major showcase in November, but I can't afford it since it cost around $500 to be in it if you do get in. I have been sending out my headshots to theatrical agents for the last two months and have not heard anything back yet. (Though I hear it takes months to hear anything from anyone.) Class wise I have a lead on a good teacher that a few of my friends have taken, but once again money is an issue. I have put out feelers amongst my acting friends about getting a reading group together just so we can all work on our cold reading and acting skills together without having to pay for it. I guess I am just worried because I am running out of funds quite rapidly and I need to get some more work fast.

Improv wise I just need to continue to work on it I guess. I can say this saftely, I am more comfortable on stage now then I was a few months ago and that is something in itself. My next goal is to start doing more character inspired improv, which will take some more time to get comfortable with.

As for my life... that's a harder one. Being 28 years old I figured I would have shit down by now. A relationship, maybe kids, well into my good career... but none of that is that case. The only solice I can take is the fact that most of my friends down here are all in the same boat. If I had stayed in Seattle I would be feeling WAY different as most of my friends are completely settled up there. I am more and more amazed with each passing month to see how many of my friends from High School and College are married with kids right now. Makes me sad in a way since I don't have that. At the same time though I am glad that I am where I am. If I had gotten married like I was planning on 2 years ago I would be in a very different place and probably not as happy. (Though who is to say, I might be very content with a steady relationship and job...) ((No, cause if I was, I would have that life right now.))

Don't take this the wrong way. I am very happy where I am at right now... but this is just rung 2 on an infinitely runged ladder... I need to figure out how to get to the next step.

Today I feel like a /

Woke up in a very "blah" mood today. I don't know why either. Things are definitely going in the right direction. I am shooting a short all this week. I am shooting some television episodes all next week. The Semi-Awesomatics (my improv troupe) won their 3rd Student Cagematch in a row last night. I am not sick. These are all great things. Yet. "Blah".

It could be a couple different things.

It could be because I have been thinking lately that I am going to need to quit my other improv troupe because I have been missing too many rehearsals and I am feeling like an outsider and they are doing well without me anyway, but I really love playing with them and I would feel like something is missing if I leave... (It's like trying to decide to end a relationship that you love the person, but you feel you aren't being fair to them because you aren't giving them enough of your time.)

It could be because I have recently been missing having a real relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Though to be honest, I think I am more "blah" because I haven't met anyone recently that has knocked the wind out of me. So I guess it's more like I am missing having someone to have a crush on. Though I also miss looking into someone's eyes and seeing awe and love in them. (Side note to that: You wanna hear the sad truth? The thing that spawned that last statement was me watching an episode of The O.C. last night ((DONT JUDGE! HULU IS CRUEL SOMETIMES!!)) and the way that the actress who plays Anna was looking at Seth at one point completely reminded me of a look that I used to get from all of my previous girlfriends. That look of "My god, I am so proud of you and I love the fact that you are all mine." You know that look? MAN! That's a great look!)

So basically I am in a funk this morning. I have a feeling it will clear up by early afternoon, hopefully giving way to bright happy times.

And Sometimes This Happens!