Post-Holiday Musings

Nothing like a new, fresh, clean blog!

Let's bust this cherry seal shall we?

I had a great couple of days in Seattle this last week, which was surprising. Not surprising that I had a good time, but surprising that I got enough time off of work to make a full trip. But I did, and I did. I got to see alot of the people that I had been missing desperately and spend some quality time with a few of them. Got my hair cut by the ex. (This was probably not the smartest of ideas, but more on that later.) Saw some movies and watched the full last season of Buffy and just generally chilled. It was relaxing. A nice change of pace. Now, something that I didn't get a chance to catch up on was sleep. One would think that this wouldn't be a problem, but I found myself getting an average of 4 hours a night. This detriment has not been solved yet, as I have only gotten about 2-3 hours over the past few nights. This is due to working the late shift, but also because my mind isn't turning off when I am trying to sleep. It goes back to the whole seeing the ex thing. Don't get me wrong, it was great seeing her. We had some laughs, she did an awesome job on my hair and such. I just can't get her out of my head now. I am trying very hard to, because it took my a really long time reach this point, and I feel like I have completely lapsed. Now it could be that I am over-exaggerating since I am currently sleep deprived, in fact, I hope that's the case. It's just that seeing her made all of the good memories that I have been blocking for the past year come flooding back. And with that a just overall sense of depression since I know she is now in a great relationship with someone else and I will never have those experiences again, with her anyway. I know that I will eventually find someone else to have a close relationship with once life, god, my subconscious, whoever decides that I am ready to handle a new one. This process is just lonely right now. Going up to Seattle made me realize how little my support system is down here in LA. I have Brian and Jon, but really I don't feel close enough to them to share this stuff with them at all. So that means I have... no one. In Seattle, since I had been living there for about 12 years, my group of friends was insanely large... the contrast is amazing. So in the end I pour all of this crap that builds up in my head into a blog or two during the slow parts of my night shift. Hence this new blog account.

Hopefully the next few posts will be a little less emo and a little more pop-punk.