Monday, December 29, 2008

Hmm...

Your result for The Love Styles Test...

75% Eros, 25% Ludus, 71% Storge, 14% Pragma, 39% Mania, 71% Agape


At various times, everyone takes on different aspects of each of the love styles. No one is just one style or another. However, we each have styles that we may tend towards more than the others.


Also, no one style is necessarily better or worse than any other. It's more important to find what works for each of us as individuals, and figure out how to enjoy our love in a healthy and positive way.


The descriptions below were taken from Close Relationships Research by Susan S. Hendrick and Wikipedia's entry on Love Styles. I highly recommend checking out these resources if you find this subject interesting.



Eros 75%



The Eros lover is characterized by passion, though a passion broader than just a physical one. The Eros lover tends to be drawn toward a preferred physical type, and thus there may be an immediate recognition or "aha" when meeting a potential love partner. This lover is intense and wants to be involved with a partner on all levels, becoming physically affectionate (and intimate), talking for hours, and learning all about the partner. The Eros lover is fully and openly "present," is self-confident and trusting, and balances intensity with an appropriate sense of boundaries.


Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetheart" or "honey." An erotic lover can be perceived as a hopeless romantic. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy.


The advantage of erotic love is the sentimentality of it. It is very relaxing to the person doing it. The disadvantage is the inevitableness of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.



Ludus 25%



The Ludus lover, in contrast, is not interested in intensity, but rather experiences love as a game to be played for mutual enjoyment but not necessarily with any serious outcome in mind. Ludic lovers do not have a preferred physical type. Although ludic lovers may be in a partnered relationship with someone, ludic love is best played with several partners at a time, so that different people may be enjoyed for different qualities, in different activities, with no one person or relationship taking precedence over another. A ludic lover may hurt a partner inadvertently, but the goal is to enjoy relationships with a variety of people, with everyone having fun and no one getting hurt.


Ludic lovers are players. More interested in quantity than quality of relationships, ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. Ludic lovers choose their partners by playing the field, and quickly recover from break-ups.


Ludic lovers generally view marriage as a trap, and are the most likely of the love styles to commit infidelity. They might view children as a sign of fertility, or, if male, a confirmation of their masculinity. They regard Sex as a conquest or a sport, and they engage in relationships because they see them as a challenge.


The advantage of ludic love is excellent sexual technique. The disadvantage is the likelihood of infidelity. In its extreme form, ludic love becomes promiscuity.



Storge 71%



The Storge lover is someone who builds a love relationship on a strong base of friendship. The goal is: A companionable, secure, trusting relationship with a partner who is similar in terms of attitudes and values. This similarity is much more important to Storge than physical appearance or sexual satisfaction because this orientation to love is more likely to seek long-term commitment rather than short-term excitement. (S. Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992, p. 65)


Storgic lovers are friends first. Storgic love develops gradually out of friendship, and the friendship can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship. Storgic lovers choose their mates based on homogamy, and sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love. Storgic lovers want their significant others to also be their best friends.


Storgic lovers place much importance on commitment, and find their motivation to avoid committing infidelity is to preserve the trust between the partners. Children and marriage are seen as legitimate forms of their bond. Sex is of lesser importance than in some of the other love styles.


The advantage of storgic love is the level of intimacy between the partners. The disadvantage is boredom and lack of passion.



Pragma 14%



The Pragma lover is all that the name implies, including practical and pragmatic. A Pragma lover may or may not have a preferred physical type, but he or she will surely have a virtual (or actual) shopping list of qualities sought in a partner. This type of lover may profit from working with a matchmaker or a computer dating service, in which inappropriate relationship candidates will be screened out. "The pragmatic lover isn't looking for great excitement and drama, but, rather, for a suitable partner with whom a satisfying, rewarding life can be built" (S. Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992, p. 66).


Pragmatic lovers are practical. Pragmatic lovers think rationally and realistically about their expectations in a partner, and select them via comparison shopping or shopping-list love. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal.


Pragmatic lovers will avoid infidelity to avoid adverse consequences, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of a relationship. Pragmatic lovers view sex as a reward or a means of procreation, and view marriage and children as potential liabilities and assets.


The advantage of pragmatic love is practicality and realism. The disadvantage is undemonstrativeness and lack of emotion. In its extreme form, pragma can become prostitution.



Mania 39%



The Mania lover is also aptly characterized by the love style name, in that emotional highs and lows, as well as dependence, possessiveness, jealousy, and insecurity are typically present. A manic lover yearns for a love relationship but finds it elusive, because she or he seems compelled to push for commitment from a partner, does not really trust the commitment even if it is forthcoming, and is always afraid that the partner will find someone else. Another aspect of Mania is physical symptoms, such as difficulty eating or sleeping. Overall, the Mania lover always seems to be looking for the cloud around the silver lining.


Manic lovers often have low self-esteem, and place much importance on their relationship. Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and superlatives, and feel they "need" their partners. Love is a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers often discover their partners by haphazard means.


Manic lovers will avoid committing infidelity if they fear discovery. They view marriage as ownership, and children as either competition or a substitute for their lover. Sex is a reassurance of love. Manic lovers are often anxious or insecure, and can be extremely jealous. Manic lovers respond well to therapy, and often grow out of this style.


The advantage of manic love is intensity. The disadvantage is jealousy, obsessiveness, and insatiability. In its extreme, mania becomes addiction or codependency.



Agape 71%



The Agape lover is the rarest type of lover. Agape is characterized by altruism, such that the partner's welfare is more important than one's own welfare, and what one can give in a relationship is more important than what one gets. Indeed, Agape has much in common with compassionate love. The idealism of Agape means that there is no one preferred physical type in a partner, and indeed, sensuality and sexuality are likely to be much less important than more spiritual qualities. Although pure Agape is unlikely to exist on the physical plane of this world, agapic qualities are extremely important as relationships encounter inevitable ups and downs.


Agapic love is self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love. Agapic lovers are often spiritual or religious people. Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings, and wish to take care of them.


Agapic lovers will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain, and will often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. Marriage and children are sacred trusts, and sex is a gift between two people. Agapic love believes itself to be unconditional, though lovers taking an agapic stance to relationships risk suffering from inattention to their own needs.


The advantage of agapic love is its generosity. A disadvantage is that it can induce feelings of guilt or incompetence in a partner. In its deviant form, agape becomes martyrdom.


Take The Love Styles Test
at HelloQuizzy

Friday, December 19, 2008

Fridays Happy

Cleaned my room! It's now ready to be shown to outsiders. The best was taking Pat and Brian to two of my favorite things: K24 (My new fav restaurant.) and Opening Night the Musical. (This time with 100% more Cacky!) It was so much fun. Pat bought us all shots of Rumpelmints at the suggestion of Cowhig. I love that shot. Easy and strong. Like me! On the way home Brian and I start going into a few of our car bits and Pat just jumps right in. I love that kid so much! Best find on set so far!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Thursday's Happy

Spent all day on set. I had a great time with Kimi and met some other new girls as well. I always find it so neat that pretty girls find me funny and good to be around. Other guys on set must be jealous...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wednesday's Happy

Had lunch with the lovely Ashley Nugent. (FANtastic piza by the way.) Then went and saw The Day The Earth Stood Still with mah boy Pat. Not that bad of a movie, had it's flaws, but not tooo bad.

Tuesday's Happy

Went to the iO Holiday party. Saw two amazing shows. Drank. Broke my iO West party smoke session cherry. Got kisses from Ash-Pants... and Graham... which was weird, but nice I guess. Had lots of great conversations.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ashley's Assignment!

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.
3. Tag your friends to do the same.


Monday's Happy
Instead of going to rehearsal tonight the team as it was went to K24 for some lovely dinner and bonding. I love my team! When I got home I had Pat over to watch the Heroes season finale. It sucked, but it was good to have Mr. D over. We had a really good conversation in the cold outside afterward. That man is a gem!

TAG: Dom Zook! Faye! KT!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Seriously...

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough ever? Why am I always left out? Am I not fun to be with? Am I not a good guy? A good listener? Why is it that the girls I am interested in are never really interested in me, but they have no problem finding my friends worthwhile! Am I that unattractive to the opposite sex? Am I that asexual?

FUCK!

This is what I get for introducing the girls I am interested in to my guy friends. Not even second best. Always the never run.

I'm done with all of this.

(Please note I am fucking angry, sad and drunk as shit.)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Yeah.

Meet my new obsession...


The Dunn Deal #67 from Benjamin Dunn on Vimeo.

From Design to Completion

So I got the tattoo. As you can see, it is a perfect blend of everything I wanted.

Photobucket