Update. I am in a slump workout wise it feels like. I am losing motivation to go. It has to be the downtime I have taken in the past week, with the bachelor party and the long days on set. I am finding it hard to push myself to go.

There is also the money stress. After only working on one set this last month and making the least amount possible per day, I had to draw my entire Feb rent/bills from my savings. This means that I only have $1300 left in there, and since Feb is the shortest month of the year I have to come up with something fast in order to stay afloat. I need a day job ASAP, but I don't even know where to start looking and the stress is hurting.

Use the stress Dunn. Go to the gym and work it out!

Work Out Blog #1-ish

Today marked my 8th day of gym time since I started this journey. It also marks the end of my first week on the meal plans. There have been some ups and downs.

Ups:
The food is actually very good. Better tasting then the usual garbage that I put in my face.

I am actually starting to get a rhythm at the gym. I did an hour of cardio today and some weights, and I am still thinking that if I get out of work early enough tonight I might make a stop over to do some more because I am still jazzed.

My parents bought me a scale, which is probably going to be bad since I am neurotic and will weigh myself constantly... just for S&G (shits and giggles for those of you trying to keep up.)

Downs:
I didn't actually make it out to the gym everyday for the past week and half like I wanted, but I am trying not to beat myself up for that since a few of those days I was working to make money and such.

Though tasty, the food isn't enough it seems since I am working out so much. I find myself very very hungry mid day and trying to find something relatively healthy to nosh on.

So that's pretty much it for now. Lastly I am going to end this post with my weight gain/loss for the week.

Gym Time Total: ~12Hrs
Cardio: 8Hrs
Weights: 4Hrs

Starting Weight(12/28): 339
Current Weight: 328
Total Loss: -11lbs

Day 1!

Ok. So this is not a resolution. I repeat. NOT A RESOLUTION.

I have given myself a goal. To work out as much as possible and try to live a healthier life this year. In keeping with that I have been going to the gym everyday for the past week. (With the small exception of yesterday since I was a little too partied out to make my way there.) It has been great so far. The key is not to overdo it. That's kind of like the bingeing of the exercise world I guess. Go too hard and you feel like crap, eat too much you feel like crap. So I have been keeping it to 45 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of various weights and it seems to be working.

I have also started a new food regime today. All pre-prepared and nutritionally balanced. The breakfast was actually pretty tasty. A nice little bran muffin and protien hot cocoa. I will keep you all updated on how that goes as well.

This new program also wants me to keep a journal of thoughts and what I have eaten and weight loss... so I will probably just start using this as the journal, so you can read the progress too.

Hmm...

Your result for The Love Styles Test...

75% Eros, 25% Ludus, 71% Storge, 14% Pragma, 39% Mania, 71% Agape

At various times, everyone takes on different aspects of each of the love styles. No one is just one style or another. However, we each have styles that we may tend towards more than the others.

Also, no one style is necessarily better or worse than any other. It's more important to find what works for each of us as individuals, and figure out how to enjoy our love in a healthy and positive way.

The descriptions below were taken from Close Relationships Research by Susan S. Hendrick and Wikipedia's entry on Love Styles. I highly recommend checking out these resources if you find this subject interesting.

Eros 75%

The Eros lover is characterized by passion, though a passion broader than just a physical one. The Eros lover tends to be drawn toward a preferred physical type, and thus there may be an immediate recognition or "aha" when meeting a potential love partner. This lover is intense and wants to be involved with a partner on all levels, becoming physically affectionate (and intimate), talking for hours, and learning all about the partner. The Eros lover is fully and openly "present," is self-confident and trusting, and balances intensity with an appropriate sense of boundaries.

Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetheart" or "honey." An erotic lover can be perceived as a hopeless romantic. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy.

The advantage of erotic love is the sentimentality of it. It is very relaxing to the person doing it. The disadvantage is the inevitableness of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.

Ludus 25%

The Ludus lover, in contrast, is not interested in intensity, but rather experiences love as a game to be played for mutual enjoyment but not necessarily with any serious outcome in mind. Ludic lovers do not have a preferred physical type. Although ludic lovers may be in a partnered relationship with someone, ludic love is best played with several partners at a time, so that different people may be enjoyed for different qualities, in different activities, with no one person or relationship taking precedence over another. A ludic lover may hurt a partner inadvertently, but the goal is to enjoy relationships with a variety of people, with everyone having fun and no one getting hurt.

Ludic lovers are players. More interested in quantity than quality of relationships, ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. Ludic lovers choose their partners by playing the field, and quickly recover from break-ups.

Ludic lovers generally view marriage as a trap, and are the most likely of the love styles to commit infidelity. They might view children as a sign of fertility, or, if male, a confirmation of their masculinity. They regard Sex as a conquest or a sport, and they engage in relationships because they see them as a challenge.

The advantage of ludic love is excellent sexual technique. The disadvantage is the likelihood of infidelity. In its extreme form, ludic love becomes promiscuity.

Storge 71%

The Storge lover is someone who builds a love relationship on a strong base of friendship. The goal is: A companionable, secure, trusting relationship with a partner who is similar in terms of attitudes and values. This similarity is much more important to Storge than physical appearance or sexual satisfaction because this orientation to love is more likely to seek long-term commitment rather than short-term excitement. (S. Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992, p. 65)

Storgic lovers are friends first. Storgic love develops gradually out of friendship, and the friendship can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship. Storgic lovers choose their mates based on homogamy, and sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love. Storgic lovers want their significant others to also be their best friends.

Storgic lovers place much importance on commitment, and find their motivation to avoid committing infidelity is to preserve the trust between the partners. Children and marriage are seen as legitimate forms of their bond. Sex is of lesser importance than in some of the other love styles.

The advantage of storgic love is the level of intimacy between the partners. The disadvantage is boredom and lack of passion.

Pragma 14%

The Pragma lover is all that the name implies, including practical and pragmatic. A Pragma lover may or may not have a preferred physical type, but he or she will surely have a virtual (or actual) shopping list of qualities sought in a partner. This type of lover may profit from working with a matchmaker or a computer dating service, in which inappropriate relationship candidates will be screened out. "The pragmatic lover isn't looking for great excitement and drama, but, rather, for a suitable partner with whom a satisfying, rewarding life can be built" (S. Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992, p. 66).

Pragmatic lovers are practical. Pragmatic lovers think rationally and realistically about their expectations in a partner, and select them via comparison shopping or shopping-list love. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal.

Pragmatic lovers will avoid infidelity to avoid adverse consequences, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of a relationship. Pragmatic lovers view sex as a reward or a means of procreation, and view marriage and children as potential liabilities and assets.

The advantage of pragmatic love is practicality and realism. The disadvantage is undemonstrativeness and lack of emotion. In its extreme form, pragma can become prostitution.

Mania 39%

The Mania lover is also aptly characterized by the love style name, in that emotional highs and lows, as well as dependence, possessiveness, jealousy, and insecurity are typically present. A manic lover yearns for a love relationship but finds it elusive, because she or he seems compelled to push for commitment from a partner, does not really trust the commitment even if it is forthcoming, and is always afraid that the partner will find someone else. Another aspect of Mania is physical symptoms, such as difficulty eating or sleeping. Overall, the Mania lover always seems to be looking for the cloud around the silver lining.

Manic lovers often have low self-esteem, and place much importance on their relationship. Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and superlatives, and feel they "need" their partners. Love is a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers often discover their partners by haphazard means.

Manic lovers will avoid committing infidelity if they fear discovery. They view marriage as ownership, and children as either competition or a substitute for their lover. Sex is a reassurance of love. Manic lovers are often anxious or insecure, and can be extremely jealous. Manic lovers respond well to therapy, and often grow out of this style.

The advantage of manic love is intensity. The disadvantage is jealousy, obsessiveness, and insatiability. In its extreme, mania becomes addiction or codependency.

Agape 71%

The Agape lover is the rarest type of lover. Agape is characterized by altruism, such that the partner's welfare is more important than one's own welfare, and what one can give in a relationship is more important than what one gets. Indeed, Agape has much in common with compassionate love. The idealism of Agape means that there is no one preferred physical type in a partner, and indeed, sensuality and sexuality are likely to be much less important than more spiritual qualities. Although pure Agape is unlikely to exist on the physical plane of this world, agapic qualities are extremely important as relationships encounter inevitable ups and downs.

Agapic love is self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love. Agapic lovers are often spiritual or religious people. Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings, and wish to take care of them.

Agapic lovers will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain, and will often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. Marriage and children are sacred trusts, and sex is a gift between two people. Agapic love believes itself to be unconditional, though lovers taking an agapic stance to relationships risk suffering from inattention to their own needs.

The advantage of agapic love is its generosity. A disadvantage is that it can induce feelings of guilt or incompetence in a partner. In its deviant form, agape becomes martyrdom.

Take The Love Styles Test at HelloQuizzy

Fridays Happy

Cleaned my room! It's now ready to be shown to outsiders. The best was taking Pat and Brian to two of my favorite things: K24 (My new fav restaurant.) and Opening Night the Musical. (This time with 100% more Cacky!) It was so much fun. Pat bought us all shots of Rumpelmints at the suggestion of Cowhig. I love that shot. Easy and strong. Like me! On the way home Brian and I start going into a few of our car bits and Pat just jumps right in. I love that kid so much! Best find on set so far!

Thursday's Happy

Spent all day on set. I had a great time with Kimi and met some other new girls as well. I always find it so neat that pretty girls find me funny and good to be around. Other guys on set must be jealous...

Wednesday's Happy

Had lunch with the lovely Ashley Nugent. (FANtastic piza by the way.) Then went and saw The Day The Earth Stood Still with mah boy Pat. Not that bad of a movie, had it's flaws, but not tooo bad.

Tuesday's Happy

Went to the iO Holiday party. Saw two amazing shows. Drank. Broke my iO West party smoke session cherry. Got kisses from Ash-Pants... and Graham... which was weird, but nice I guess. Had lots of great conversations.

Ashley's Assignment!

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.
3. Tag your friends to do the same.

Monday's Happy
Instead of going to rehearsal tonight the team as it was went to K24 for some lovely dinner and bonding. I love my team! When I got home I had Pat over to watch the Heroes season finale. It sucked, but it was good to have Mr. D over. We had a really good conversation in the cold outside afterward. That man is a gem!

TAG: Dom Zook! Faye! KT!

Seriously...

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough ever? Why am I always left out? Am I not fun to be with? Am I not a good guy? A good listener? Why is it that the girls I am interested in are never really interested in me, but they have no problem finding my friends worthwhile! Am I that unattractive to the opposite sex? Am I that asexual?

FUCK!

This is what I get for introducing the girls I am interested in to my guy friends. Not even second best. Always the never run.

I'm done with all of this.

(Please note I am fucking angry, sad and drunk as shit.)

Yeah.

Meet my new obsession...


The Dunn Deal #67 from Benjamin Dunn on Vimeo.

From Design to Completion

So I got the tattoo. As you can see, it is a perfect blend of everything I wanted.

INVASION!

The ants are back. It was such a great time with them gone. We had about 2 months of antless days. Now they are back, and in greater force. I first noticed them in my room a few days ago, gathered on a box with a scanner in it. Today I did laundry and had put some clothes on my bed. About an hour later I notice a few ants on my bed, when I moved a pair of shorts there were about 50-60 ants underneath. I swatted them all off the bed and sprayed the ant killer and bleach on the floor. When I moved the shorts again I noticed more of them. They were all over that pair of shorts. I don't get it. I have to go to work soon so I can't clean up everything in here in time to leave. I guess tonight is Ben Cleans His Room Night and ANTSLAUGHTER 2008 Part Dos.

Tattoo Design

Oh. And I have come up with the final idea for the new tattoo.

I want to combine these three images into one thought.

1. The sign for chaos:


2. The Infinity Sign:


3: A top view of a lotus flower:


If anyone can come up with a design that incorporates all of these ideas in something awesome let me know...

Thank God For Work!!!

It's been a hell of a few days here friends. Lots of time on my hands. Lots of degenerate thoughts. Lots of drinking. (Though one tends to lead to another most of the time right?) Let's recount shall we?

Thursday: No Work. Feeling a bit down. Went to Gen's house. Proceeded to drink more then half a case of NattieIce while watching Not Another Teen Movie. Apparently made some videos that are now circulating YouTube. (Thank you Gen!) Slept a bit.

Friday: Woke up. Took Gen to work. Went to breakfast with Jess. Hung out with her and her roommate for a bit. (Those girls are a hoot and a half!) Came home. Sat around. Tried to nap. Went to iO West to cover a shift. Saw some good shows. Went home. Slept.

Saturday: Woke. Tried to go see a movie with Ash. (Emphasis on TRIED since everything that could go wrong DID go wrong.) Watched some OC. Went to class. Had an amazing class! (Love Craig Cackowski!) Ate some amazing food. Worked at iO again. Wanted to go to Becca's birthday... couldn't due to Prop 8 Protests happening all over the Westside. (Fuck you Conservitives for making the protests happen!) Went home. Slept.

Sunday: Woke. Did fuck all. Drank. Watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Sobered up. Drank. Watched Flight of the Concords. Went for a walk. Slept.

Monday: Woke. Did laundry. Saw Role Models with Pat. Wrote in my blog. Going to rehearsal. Coming home. Sleeping!

So thank god I am working tomorrow! (Though I just found out that I am replacing another extra so my call time has been moved from noon to 4pm. Which means I am not going to be able to hang with Jess... which equals a boo in my book.)

Hopefully things will pick up for the rest of the week.

I can't wait to go home for a few days!

At least I put myself out there for once instead of letting it eat away at me and wondering what if.

You know that feeling when you have a cold coming on? That slight tickling in the back of your throat on the first day. The rised tempurature? The little runny nose? All those added together and you know that you will be sick for the next couple of days because you didn't catch on soon enough to take any precaution and nip it in the bud? Well it works with crushes too.

Didn't see it coming. Just weeks ago I was writing how I hadn't had any feelings for girls in a long time. (It's true. Go back a few posts and read for yourself.) Then I stumble into a conversation with a few people on set that I can really sink my teeth into. Video games, bad movies, comics. Awesome! Plus one of them is from Washington and actually knew my alma mater. And she was a hot little number too. (Very much my type if you know what my type is.) We had some great conversations and I thought, cool now I have a new friend and someone to talk to on set when I get to work with her. Should have nipped it in the bud then! Taken whatever the emotional equivelant of Airbourne would be. But I didn't. Hung out with her outside of work. Turns out she really is alot of fun to be around and we really do "click" on multiple levels. Got to know her even more today as we carpooled to set and spent most of the day together.

Now? Now I feel that slight tickle on the inside. The little smile that I get when I start to like someone in a bit more than friendly way. And I am wondering if I should squash it down now, or let it play out. I really don't know. On the one hand I have some pretty hard evidence that she might like me in return. (Though it could just be mixed signals.) On the other I don't want to go and make it weird since we do end up working together quite abit it seems, if I am judging things wrong. It should be easy. Ask her out, see what she says. But I see myself doing what I do best, dancing around it too long and watching her go off with someone else because I haven't made my feelings known clear enough and she doesn't want to wait.

Sitting here rereading that last statement I think I have decided to just make it clear now and see what happens so this doesn't get too out of hand.

Also, there is a helicopter flying around Glendale for the past 10 minutes... I wonder what happened.

Thrill The World '08

I always said that the Hollywood and Highland Center draws in the mass consumer tourist zombies... I just never thought that they would be so graceful.

HPATHBP

'Nuff Said.

Emotional Exorcism

*Preface*
I am tired so this post may get a little non-sensical and/or whiny. Please to be moving on if you do not approve of such posts.

Tonight was weird. I feel used. Let's back this train up though and start at the beginning. Recently I have been getting strange vibes from alot of women, some that I am friends with, some that I don't know from Eve. The basic jist of it is this: Women have been noticing me lately. Not in the "ooooo I need to jump this guys bones" way, more of a "I am going to go up to him and tell him exactly what I think of him" way. Not that it has been bad. Over the last month I have been told by no fewer than 4 complete strangers that I have a beautiful face, or very handsome features or something alone those lines. I have been pretty obviously persued by at least one girl, which might be nice if I don't find a way to fuck it up. Tonight though I was asked to come over to a friends house for the evening. I did. It was fine. Lots of flirting. Some cuddling. (Told once again that I am attractive.) But then the weird happened. This friend proceeds to then uses my being there as a passive-aggressive weapon to my other friend via texts. It also becomes very obvious to me that she likes him but isn't getting the attention she wants from him and is using me to make him feel jealous... or at least trying to. All of this makes me feel very VERY uncomfortable. Now she also asked me to hang out with her for halloween, which I was considering, but now I realize that it was just her way of trying to have me so he can't have me. To which I say FUCK THIS and am removing myself from the situation entirely. I choose no sides. I am Switzerland.

All that being said. I am feeling very lonely right now since I am nothing more then a tool. I think I miss being loved and loving someone in return. (Though I do have lots of friendly-love! Thank god for that!)